A Life's Story
A Life's Story was a page on a 2005 version of Greg's Onision Site that described important moments in his life up until that point. (Source) Last names removed.
A Life's Story
You're here because you're on a venture to find out exactly who I am... it seems so many are content with concluding that you can only know a person completely if you are certain of their past. In many ways this is true... but it does not entirely identify a person... not everything I've done will be posted here... actually, two things will be left out for you to ponder over... for only those close enough know the two biggest mistakes I've made... mistakes... they are so rare these days...
Umbilical of Death
I was born silently, and blue. My mom was originally told that I was going to turn out retarded, probably because when I was born my head was 14 1/2 inches around, and my chest was 13 1/2. The scanners I guess gave them the impression I was going to only be a quarter-wit... but luckily she decided not to abort, and here I am...
Now about the umbilical cord. It was wrapped around my neck three times... they had to cut it off as soon as I was born, I guess that was easier without movement...
The Pews
At age 2, I was told, that I fell off the back of a church chair (pew) head first, and smacked my head on the ground... my mom ran screaming out of the church, blood everywhere... I've always tended to bleed a lot of thick irony blood... I was told... her dress was ruined.
When they tried to patch me up, they ended up having to tape my head entirely, when originally they made it a simple butter fly, but of course, I pulled it off every time.
I still have a scar.
Humpty Dumpty
When I was seven... the one of the few stories I can recall occurring before age 11, I went to work with my step-father. He was welding on his/his brother's boat, on a cement docking area when I decided to be a dare devil...
I wanted to crawl across the ships face, right in front of the very top window.
Being 25 feet up, I was quite scared, but I gritted my teeth, and began to move towards the edge. Crawling out front, I held onto a chain... so high up... that's when the wind blew, on the shores of Washington state, I lie, bumped and not broken, falling head first off the boat's lip, onto cement, all the time trying to save myself by latching onto the chain, connected to... nothing.
The chain fell with me, and the only way my step-father had known I fell was by the screams I let out as I rubbed my head in pain.
Later on that day, I got a bike with no front wheel... and yet, for some reason, everything seemed better.
First Fight
Around second grade, I had thought I fell in love with a girl... so I spent time with her every day, her name? Aubry [...]... how do I remember that? I knew her up till High School... the crush ended in 3rd grade...
One day, a boy had decided to tell me she was his girlfriend, and that I should get away from her... his name was Phillip [...]... he said some nasty things, so I asked her if she minded watching me beat him... she said she did not, so I turned around and began swinging as hard and fast as I could... I had longer hair then, so he grabbed my hair and flipped me around... I fell to the ground yet on the ground, and facing the other direction still managed to land quite a few punches.
The recess coach saw us, and began screaming like a mad woman to stop... when it was over, he was crying... I remember smiling... he and I were ok from that point on... but he died two years later when he was on a sled, sliding into the road he was crushed by a car...
This too was in Auburn... of Washington State ~ We were in Lakeview Elementary.
Saving The Boy
I felt like a guard, an authority by the time I hit 4th grade... I always looked for someone to save, someone to help... I made a few friends by protecting them... it wasn't that I was any bigger than the other kids, I was just above average, it was that I was strong, and fierce in fights.
I've always felt I have a good heart, I love doing what's right, and when a second grader was in trouble, I didn't know him, but I knew the 15+ bullies that were trying to beat him.
I looked up on the field, and I saw them crowd, they threw a baseball at his face, it hit him in the eye, that's when I began to run.
When I got up to him, they were only a few feet away, before they could come any closer, I grabbed him, and began dragging him off the field.
With his arm over my shoulder, I brought him into his homeroom class...
Two years later, he said I saved his life, and thanked me as I only smiled and told him "I just did what was right."
First Kiss
When I was 11, I had my first kiss. she was a gorgeous 15 year old girl named Julia [...] (hey, I can say she WAS gorgeous because I was 11 at the time). It was someone I had met at my father's church... I recall something very clearly she said, "You have the heart of a 15 year old." --- at the time, and even know, I think it was cheesy, but the truth of the matter is, she meant something more, that I am older in mind than many... why else do you think I call men boys? Because I am one of them and am too stupid to figure out how to make myself a man?
The next year, she went back to that cabin we had kissed in, and found out she loved another... Michael [...] ~ by that time she and I had lost touch... the news did not hit me until years later, and by that time... they had broken up.
Michael is a year younger than I am.
Meet Gewdla
At about 13 years of age I stayed over at my cousins house with my sister, someone brought up the idea of a Ouija board... I had never used one prior, but was extremely interested... we messed around with the board for a while, trying to figure out what exactly it could do, who we could talk to in the board...
We met a negative spirit named "Gewdla" ~ that's one of the first times I felt power in negativity... "evil" even... I asked Gewdla who he liked... the cursor quickly moved towards me... I then asked if he had ever been inside our bodies, he told me that he was inside mine, 19 times... this of course does not mean I was possessed... rather, he saw through my eyes...
It's kind of creepy to know that huh? How did I feel? Still inspired, still curious.
I continue to search for that one entity...
Infatuation of Michael's Sister
At about age 15 I fell for Jennifer [...], Michael [...]'s sister... for the longest time I had eyes for her... she was always so fun, full of energy and life... but yet she never really had any experience with boys, maybe that is something I liked... I like teaching people, about everything... but the only thing I ended up teaching her was that I was head over heals for her... as I learned she never even thought of me like that...
A letter I wrote told her everything, a call she made, ended it all ~ she still visits me whenever I visit my father, I feel like she always wants to say something... but never can get what she wants out...
The Story With My Father
My father, Randy Gray [...], is accused of being a sexual violator... a liar... a fraud... even wicked. Over time I began to believe... I'm almost certain now... the stories were true... he tormented me for a short duration when I lived in his house for six months... taking away my liberties, my music, my entertainment, telling me I was not the son he wanted by trying to change my personality...
He treated me like I was a criminal in his house, when really, he was the criminal, though he had never been officially called on it other than the various letters to the courts claiming he had violated various women who all testified...
He lied to me so often... he's struck me violently before for calling his wife a name... a cuss word... what have I done to him? Fought back, fought to get home, with my sane parent... my mother, Tami Jayne [...].
My father currently lives in Ohio... a pastor at [...] Church, currently working with Habitat For Humanity... something good can come out of something so very impure it seems.
First, The Core ~ Ms. [...]
Shiree [...] is one of the most influential individuals in my life now, and in my past ~ she was my first real view of what emotional relationships are all about ~ she and I would talk for 9 hours a day, non-stop seemingly... it was as if we had a world of words to say... as if we were speaking for the first time.
My sister introduced me to her early in the morning at Lakes High School ~ she had told me she liked my shirt... at the time I was cool with wearing band names ~ SlipKnot was the name of choice... Moments after she spoke with me for the first time, the bell rang, and she had to go... for some reason I was relieved...
Later on we spoke on the phone, following with meeting at school ~ soon after I asked her out... but that did not last very long when a bunch of average Joe's told me she was ugly, and that I was dating a dog... I thought about what I had done, why I did it... and chose to end my association with the boys who said that about her, and take her back ~
Shiree was really happy that I asked her to date me again ~ so was I... it was really just a uncalled for action... and in between the time we dated and had broken up, she did something really ridiculous which I won't mention here... however it caused our ultimate end once I found out about it ~
From that point on, she and I dated off and on for 7 months... never more than three days apart ~ Shiree has always been Bi-Sexual, so at one point, before we became more serious, I asked her to end her ties with her girlfriend ~ she had offered other alternatives, and I could only turn them down...
Shiree has always been my opposite, she's cheated on me, lied to me, used drugs behind my back... she does all the things I would never do... and yet we were pulled towards each other ~ today she lives in Texas with her husband ~ and by the time you all read this will of had a child. We talk on the phone once a week or so ~
Like all those I loved, this is a relationship I do not regret ~ nor ever will... I learned so much from her... and if there were a list, she was a source of more emotional pain than I have ever experienced in my life... for some reason I don't mind now.
Christina [...]
Christina [...] was a girl I noticed for laughing at everything I said... she was not extremely attractive or anything, but that was never really what I had looked for... she had freckles, which were adorable.
I began to talk to her, quite randomly, she loved anime, was part of the school marching band as a... color guard? She was so strong...
We walked home from school each day... holding hands, laughing... we would stop and kiss from time to time... just like I have with almost everyone I've fallen for...
One time at lunch, I had tried to talk to her repeatedly... she always had a tendency to ignore me while her friends were around, even though they all knew I was with her, standing right next to her most of the time...
I always wore black... so in the moment I was trying to talk to her, I gave up, I stood up hastily in the middle of the lunch room, and began to walk away... she asked where I was going in a loud voice, and so I raised my arm half bent snapping like a switch blade, my middle finger high...
When she found me after school, she asked why I did what I did, I told her she disrespected me, and I was enraged by it ~ she asked how she could fix it, so I told her to prove she was not ashamed... I asked her to show up as gothic as possible (her being quite preppy) to school the next morning... she did... she looked good, but I liked her for what she preferred...
We broke up soon before I left... for a week we would only talk... and one day... when we hugged... her grip was so tight... she pulled away, and kissed me... so hard.
The next night she came by my house, she said she had to settle down, so she ran around my house a few times... it was somewhat funny to me... I didn't want her to go... but she was soon back... we stayed together till 7am the next morning... I didn't walk her home...
I'd say that's one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made...
She barely knows who I am now...
I left three days after that night...
Earth Club & Ms. [...]
Soon after returning from Ohio, I rejoined Earth Club (not mentioned prior due to insignificance), where we basically cleaned up the roads, planted trees, cleared out blackberry bushes, and basically just spent time with some good, caring people.
One week we, as a group, went to the "Power of Hope" a gathering of young individuals seeking a good atmosphere, and interesting people ~ a lot of the activities were weird, but I did not care much, and participated optimistically ~
From the moment I had arrived, I had my eye on a girl, Tashina [...] ~ she was sitting in a metal chair, in the center of the gymnasium surrounded by nothing ~ as always I immediately took attention to one that stood out ~ I felt bad about her being alone with no one to talk to... so I walked over and introduced myself... from that point on she and I became good friends.
One night she sang, it was the most beautiful voice I had ever heard... for the first time in my life I had felt that this girl was more talented than me ~ not at just singing, nearly everything ~ I had found someone who was better... or so I had thought ~
Tashina gave me her number, I gave her mine, and she drove off not to see me again for a couple weeks ~
Later on in the month, we met up, Tashina gathered up quite a few of the people from Earth Club and another from the Power of Hope and we walked to an old insane asylum (no one was there of course) ~ everyone seemed scared, and stayed closely to each other... I had a grin on my face and said loudly "What are you scared of?" still smiling I ran off into the dark and circled the asylum to burn energy... coming back I got kudos for my fearless actions... I only then realized how some people's minds work when it comes to fear ~ pointless at that.
Tashina and I spoke a lot that night... after she dropped everyone off, she and I arranged another time for her to come out, except this time visit me directly ~
A month passed and she showed up on my door step...
I acted like my normal self (at the time, I acted odd around girls) always having a smile on my face, and very energetic. I guess she thought I was cute as we soon after started dating...
The relationship lasted only two weeks... and yet we had done so much ~ I initially ended it when she said she was unsure of our future and where we stood (I took a lot of things too seriously) she said she was leaving for college soon, and it scared me... after breaking up I began to search for a way we could be together, and found one ~ yet when I suggested it, she would not accept it ~
From that point on, I only learned of all the drugs she used, the terrible lies she told (people forcing her to smoke pot? I think not...) ~ now she has an account I live journal... I stopped reading it after I saw a few mentionings of more extreme actions... she and I argued a lot online... and eventually our words became silent, I moved on, she did as well.
Tanna [...] ~
I met Tanya [...] at my grandma's house so very long ago... I believe 2001... it was at another celebrative gathering (which she still says she was not present to... but... I insist she was) in which many members played volleyball, socialized, and ate randomly on an amazingly sunny day ~
She had an amazing glow to her... always smiling, and very optimistic ~ however we spoke very little on the first meet ~ I was too preoccupied with a nit-wit relative who kept attacking my choice of clothing... I recall threatening to burry his face in the ground... and am still shocked he is related to me... (it seems most every insult I dish out is a direct response to someone assaulting my character... and it is normally harsh)
I did not see Tanya again until I had visited the neighborhood again (Tanya lived right across a creek from my grandma) ~ it was Christmas, and I believe we had spoken on the phone prior... she and I seemed to really like each other, every action/word caused a laugh, or giggle from her ~ I couldn't stop smiling ~ we eventually left the house and walked off, staring at the sky, talking randomly, admiring the atmosphere...
My mom had wanted to go, so she screamed out my name... and teased us as to what they thought we had been doing when we got back... it's silly how people automatically assume every human being's sole purpose is to mate... [sighs] I just responded to them, telling them I had been looking at the stars... I wish there had been stars out that night ~
I never asked Tanya out ~ we simply accepted the title... I was always so desperate to see her, talk to her... even today, encountering her is a surreal experience...
I would always ask my mom to go visit my grandmas, and as soon as possible cross the creek to see Tanya ~ after quite a few... I wish I had a word for it... but after various visit to her... things began to change.
I had thought everything was going well... only to find with her it was all losing its promise... our relationship began to die due to my sub-addiction to her voice... her presence ~ I began to only want to be with her, my purpose was becoming her ~ I spoke of the future so often, where we would go... and she would give the impression that she was not going to make me her first and last love ~
After a while I began to question her... ask her how she really felt, why she did not call me as often as I would have preferred...
It was a mess...
Eventually she broke up with me... it was the first time I had been broken up with my someone I love... she's the only one even today that has ended a relationship with me where love was involved... (note: "love" is not key word for anything, when I say "love" I mean "love" :)
I hurt for a really long time after, she tried to tell me that there were plenty of people out there for me... and that I would find someone one day... she said I would find someone better than her... better for me... I replied every time insisting that there was no one better, no one more fit for me ~ that she was the most amazing person I had ever met... I told her she was the last...
For a long while we stopped talking... I would cry night after night due to what happened... some songs I could not listen to without becoming torn up inside... my entire life took a fall for one of the worst points I had ever experienced...
The only way I could recover from my fall was to make her the bad guy... I would make up excuses as to why she was wrong for me, suggest that she treated me wrongly, that she did not care about anyone ~ I was almost to the point of sayings he had no soul ~ not to degrade her, but to save myself from more heart ache...
Over time I did recover, it had been at least six months before I found anyone attractive... even longer to consider dating again...
Only after a year of silence, I called Tanya again... she seemed so happy to hear from me... she said she wanted to call... she just was not sure if it would work out, if I would be ok with talking again...
Before that time it was a daily challenge not to send her a letter, write her an email...
Today she and I've seemed to of lost touch with her... in a lot of ways, I still feel damaged inside... a quote from her: "It's amazing you can be hurt so many times, and not give up all together." ~ what was interesting about that was... I had never given up due to heart break until I encountered her... though I regret nothing.
The only one who could really pick me up, and put me back together from all this, was the one I love today ~ Skye [...]...
Occupation: Kids
After a while of joblessness I decided I needed to gain revenue so I could start getting the things I wanted ~ My sister referred me to the YMCA where I was interviewed and soon after given the job.
I met the kids & Libby [...] at the site I worked at ([...] Elementary), Libby was practically my boss, and yet I soon found that she cheated the system... she would leave me with the shifts she was to work, and would claim them for her own, or simply state that she worked longer than she did... this bothered me due to the fact that it was stealing ~ especially from the YMCA which had previously hosted a club I was heavily involved in "Earth Club" (I know, lame title... whatever).
I ratted on Libby to her boss... and it did nothing ~ as I guess everyone did it...
Soon after I quit due to frustrations with their integrity, and simply no longer enjoying the work due to the environment ~
The kids were always great... and I loved spending time with them... but it's what happens behind the scenes that really took me out of the job ~ I could not stand it anymore, so I left.
Meeting The Last ~
I have known Skye since 2003... she first saw me in 2001 during a computer class, however I could not recall her as those were the times of Shiree [...] ~ I was always distracted with emotional issues, daily conflicts with her that I did not pay much attention to school... anything really.
Skye was in a weight lifting class when I first spoke to her... I had seen her before in the Library computer lab... she acted like I was a weirdo for talking to her... but I kept going back, every time I had class with her... saying "Hey Skye!" and other random things to start a conversation... like many others, I chose her to talk to because she stood out, she had such a dark aura around her... and yet she dressed normally, she had something so different about her... Skye acted like she did not need anyone... I knew that was because she didn't...
Shortly after I met her in class, we began to see each other where the busses gathered to take us all home... we would talk pretty randomly... her still acting distant and like I was weird... but me seeing through it all ~ knowing that she wanted me around.
The school year ended, and we did not see each other for quite some time... she was logged on to AOL one day, and I spoke with her... she invited me over ~ and I told her that it would be cool to see her again ~
From that point on, I would drive out to see her, and pick her up on occasion to come over to my house... I would play my random tunes in my care, and sing along to them on the way, sometimes in a silly voice with a goofy grin on my face... bumping her insanely as she smiled yet still seemed removed...
After the first few times we had visited one another, I began to develop feelings for her... it was rather hard at the time due to the last relationship I had gotten into, however it had been a year, so I decided I should try to recuperate with someone I could trust... Skye was the first girl I had met that I would never have to worry about leaving... to worry about anything really.
I feel good around Skye... she's into almost everything I am, she has many of the same skills I do, she has the same dedication, value for life, and rarely causes upset in my heart.
I honestly think that if it had not been Skye... there would be no one... for the longest time I was so shattered... I feel myself pulling back together... I feel stronger around her.
I've taught Skye so much... and she has brought a mutual sense of gain for me.
I don't see an end to this road... I find comfort in that...
An Update... it seems like I was right about Skye, we were married in San Antonio, Texas, August 5th, 2005... I love you Skye, thank you for honoring me with the privilege to call you my Cooba... my wife...
Military Life
After a while of swinging from job to job, I decided I should get my life in gear financially, and serve my country some benefit ~ walking into the recruiters office I told them I wanted in... I also told them I wanted to be shipped out within 6 months... in only 2 months of waiting, they sent me off to Air Force boot camp ~
Boot camp is not exactly how you see it in the movies... probably because I was given "Bad TI's" as a Tech Sergeant recently told me... they would cuss at us, call us worthless, scream non-stop when they spoke to us... act nice one moment, and tell us they wanted to kill us the next...
To the last day of boot camp the broke us down... and never once tried to build us up. In fact, during Amnesty Hour, they told us they hated us, and that we were the worst flight they had ever had...
Soon after boot camp I was able to see Skye, my Mom & my Sister ~ they had visited for graduation, where afterward I could finally leave the base... it took me a while to loosen up as all I had experienced from boot camp was frustration, but I soon was able to snap out of it.
After my family and girlfriend had left, I was soon sent to my tech school "SERE School" or the "SERE Indoc Course" ~ there we were pushed to our limits physically every day ~ whether it was running 5 miles, or backpacking with 65lb rucks 4 miles ~ we were burnt out at the end of every day ~
We got to the first week of team, the point where the exercising did not bother me nearly as much and I was beginning to really enjoy the occupation... I made it through the first week without any significant issues, and was onto the second week, the first day, we had our final physical training evaluations, I passed mine with leeway ~ only to later one experience an epiphany where I realized what I would have to do only days following... kill, gut, and eat a rabbit ~
For some reason before this time I had not seriously considered what I was to do... but seeing the rabbits in their cages, and having one innocently jump up at me trying to sniff my hand... I walked into the cadre's office and told them I would not do it ~ that I quit...
The others did not understand, most men fail to grasp the concept of compassion, and that animals experience pain just like we do... that they could even have souls just like ours, or at least to no lesser value ~
I don't regret my decision, and in fact, because I chose to do this, I ended up being asked to design the official SERE web site: GoSERE.com